Me as a villian
i want a murder mystery show where the body is always the same cheap-ass plastic skeleton, fully clothed and in some completely ridiculous pose. like, itll lay there with its hands on its hips in some terrible sequin dress, and the detectives will step up to it all super-serious like ‘it appears she’s been dead for 12 hours” and no one will mention the fact that ‘she’ is a dollar store halloween decoration
90s info brochures are generally painfully corny but this one is perty on point
Superhero stories are huge right now, so it’s understandable if you’ve been inspired by these characters and want to create one of your own. The good thing about superhero characters is that there’s usually a formula you can follow. As long as you try to add your own…
adam young’s Instagram is a spiritual journey
imagine a ghost getting brought back to life but they’ve been a ghost for so long that they have trouble adjusting. like, they keep running into walls and doors because they used to be able to just pass through them or they trip down the stairs because they used to float down them and sometimes they trip over their own feet because they forget how to walk all together
#headcanon that when stark restarts shield#and brings nick back in#he sets up nick’s computer access so it follows his good eye#and whatever pops does so in front of him#wherever he’s looking#and also takes into account any depth perception issues due to only having the one eye#and tony just does it because he sort of makes for easier user access because he imagines no one else gets as much done as he does#he does the same thing for bruce’s computer access at the tower#doing research and eliminating triggers and flashing things from the interface#and generally subtly eliminating stress-inducing material#i just really like my headcanon that tony knows his friends have disabilities and works to accommodate them#and also sometimes he sends pepper in to give bruce a hug#because bruce needs hugs#and pepper is very good at them
Harry Potter is like a fine whisky; it gets better with age.
Sherlock is like heroin; everyone is itching for their next fix.
Doctor Who is like red wine; mature and has a big history.
I have been laughing at this forever
reblog and make a wish!
this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)
OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.
THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.
The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.
AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.
THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.
I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS
LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL
IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS
holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS.
I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT
SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP
WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????
ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE
OKAY I SWEAR TO GOD THIS THING WORKS YOU HAVE TO PATIENT BC I WISHED THAT I COULD MOVE AWAY FROM MY SHITTY TOWN TO A WARM PLACE AND GUESS WHAT THIS JULY IM MOVING TO NORTH CAROLINA OKAY GUYS IM NOT MAKING THIS UP I AM SO CONFUSED ACTUALLY THIS IS GREAT BYE
YEA IT WORKS I WISHED FOR A PUPPY AND GUESS WHO HAS A FUCKING PUPPY NOW
Her intelligence had no place
In a world indifferent to the mind;
A cult for the admiration of the body
And her beauty only rivaled her deceipt.
She was like a spider living in a flower.
Waiting for the bees.
But there was space between her sky
and the faces turned toward it;
Animal tracks fossilized
from prehistoric times.
Sipping generically passionate words
and sniffing sweet cocaine.
She said she collected knives
“Because they’re sexual”
A parasite living In a host’s veins.
And when she cried
Flowers wilted at her feet
“It’s always better to be
carried away with emotion
than be completely unmoved”
A virus in a water filled cell.
But she threw her knees
In the air for me.
She thought about how
Pretty words can’t explain
The world that she’s seen.
And she kind of hates people
But they’re beautiful when they sleep.
She wore death’s grin above her chin;
the center of someone else’s galaxy.
but she smells like raspberries
and tastes like rum.
my favorite part of this is the end, because chemically the center of our galaxy is supposed to actually smell like raspberries and taste like rum. literally no joke
this is funny
like really, really funny
You sly bugger. That took me a while.
JOHN GREEN MY FAVORITE PERSON EVER
HEY YO! ATTENTION ALL MY SHORT-SHORTS LOVING, THICK-THIGHED, CURVY KIN WHO HATE CHUB RUB
so you see that picture up there? its the best LUSH product ever, and I got that as a gift from a lovely friend for Hanukkah
and I usually use it on my clean sheets to make my bed feel silky and smell like jasmine, its great okay
ANYWAY today I had the brilliant idea to dust some of it between my thighs where they touch and YESSSSS GAAAAAAWWWWWWWD my thighs have been silky literally all day, and have not even began to chub rub
thats right: no chub rub
so whats its deal? well its some lovely coco butter-jasmine scented dusting powder that absorbs into your skin and leaves you all nice and silky and basically even though today was like 88 and humid my thighs did not stick to one another, it was heaven
so everyone who hates that GOD AWFUL rash you get from when your thighs chafe, GO BUY IT, REALLY. ITS A MIRACLE. AND I SMELL SO NICE.
and for those of you who don’t think this is completely amazing, forget you, my thighs are silky and smell like jasmine
I’m so pleased this is going around because its getting fucking hot out and this is important
I get asked about chub rub remedies a lot, so hopefully this is helpful for some of you :)